I am very well aware that many people do not like sermons.  I understand that, and I believe that many times it is due to the fact that we come here to speak about difficult subjects. This afternoon, we will be speaking about something extremely difficult but hopefully we will do it in a rather beautiful way.

About six months ago, I discovered something that many of you discovered way before I did.  Even though I am known for having all the gadgets and I do mean ALL THE GADGETS (I am still in the market for one of the new iPOD NANOS), sometimes I am a late comer to social technology.  For months I kept getting messages to join Facebook.  

I ignored the messages because, after all, “Who has time to just sit in front of a computer and count how many friends you have on any given day?”

I was also nervous because what would happen if I didn’t get as many friends as I thought I had or if The Cantor ended up with many more friends than me.  What if my numbers would not reflect my position.  What if one of my congregants ignored my request to become a friend?  What if I wanted to ignore the request of one of my congregants? I had all sorts of fears, but then one day I got an email from a friend from elementary school that I hadn’t seen in 23 years.  So, I decided it was time for me to join and the first thing I did was to fill in my profile information.  

I did it in a very detailed way. I listed all my degrees, all my accomplishments. I wrote that I was the proud father of three, married to Liz and the proud Rabbi of a congregation of outstanding people in Las Vegas.   When my daughter Ari, my 7-year-old saw me doing this, she quickly said to me; “No one wants to know what you do, they all want to know what you look like!”  After reality sank in, I proceeded  to select a profile picture.  

Selecting a profile picture may seem like a simple enough task, until you realize that people who haven’t seen you in 23 or 25 years or even more are going to be extra curious. I carefully selected a picture where Yoshua and Daniela appeared cautiously placed in front of me, like a shield. It was then that I discovered that there was going to be one thing that Facebook would ultimately make me confront: TIME IS UNSTOPPABLE!

Facebook is a very interesting phenomenon. It has over 100 million members all over the world. One thing that it does is that it allows you to look through the face and into the life of people in a way in which it had never been done before.

Facebook translated into Hebrew would be SEFER HA PANIM, which sounds more like the title of a Kabbalistic masterpiece than the name of a social website.

So what have I learned after all this months of being in Facebook?  I have learned that once you get past the initial shock, once you see all your classmates from elementary school, you suddenly realize how much things have changed, but you also realize that beautiful faces have been replaced by beautiful hearts!  

The American poet born in Virginia in 1912 Martin Buxbaum once wrote: “Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.” , and so… you begin to ask yourself important questions.  

Where are the missing ones?

Eventually you discover that some of the people you grew up with are no longer in this world. You see the 5th grade class picture and you remember so many things; your best friend growing up, your dreams of becoming a sport legend! Your first love! But you also see an incomplete picture of the present because as soon as you ask about those who are now silent, those whose voices you don’t hear or sense in Sefer Ha Panim, then you realize when someone tells you that a sudden heart attack, cancer, a violent accident took them away in an instant and their lives became just a passing shadow — I found that no one asks too many questions about the missing ones, because there is a profound sense of anxiety!

Then the second realization suddenly hits you.  

It could have been me! I am so lucky to be alive, to be able to see my family every day. To be able to touch them and say to them I love you.

It is just a matter of time, because in 20, 30 years from now, another very natural process will begin, we won’t ask about the missing ones but rather about those who are still here.

As reality begins to sink in, you suddenly become distracted by Facebook – a friend just posted a picture of when you were 18-years-old! It is there for the world to see, in my case for all my congregation to see! I looked like Tom Hanks in Castaway.  I was discovered by a 7th grader who thinks I looked better with a full beard!

Then you are distracted again by one of those one line statements that people write. I have my favorites. We have some very talented writers in our congregation who write the best one liners. One person writes how proud she is of her kids, another about how she is fighting jet lag after her last trip. One of our USYers writes about pulling an all-nighter in preparing for a test, and then my favorite: DJ is making spaghetti!

Believe it or not, Facebook gave me an insight into one of the most sacred elements of life. What do we do with our days, how do we spend our time. Are we living meaningful lives? Every time I see one of those one line statements I chuckle privately. These statements come from the very core of our being, it is us crying out for others to understand who we are.

When we are told that we are created B’Tzelem Elohim (In the image of God). We are indeed affirming that within each one of us there is something eternal. That part of us, whatever it is endures in a way we can’t understand.

Week after week, year after year — this is the real question that we face. What do we do with the short time that we are given, how do we transform that time into something eternal! How are we to view the fact that this time will end. It is the greatest single fact about life, IT IS NOT FOREVER! And then how can we strive to find blessing in memory and eternity in remembrance?

In the Jewish tradition, the single greatest fact about death is that it is not complete and that is why again and again we are told to associate the word life with death. Why when we enter a Jewish Cemetery it says above the gates “Beit Hachayim” – House of Life! Because as we are told in the book of Job as Job faces the destruction of his loved ones around him, Job says “V’ani yadati ki Gaali Hai” – For I know that my redeemer lives. God is called in the Yom Kippur Liturgy “Zocher Kol Ha Nishkachot,”  The one who remembers everything. In memory we always find life.

Last Tuesday morning, I sent the congregation an email with a little pre-Yom Kippur homework. I asked you to watch a video of the last lecture given by professor Randy Pausch, who taught robotics and communication at The Carnegie Mellon University. After being diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, he was asked to deliver “The last lecture” which used to be a tradition at Carnegie Mellon, where they asked you to give a lecture as if you knew it was the last one before you died?

The Last Lecture (click here for complete version on YouTube)

Bellow is just an abridged version of the lecture as presented in Oprah’s TV Show:

As we come together this afternoon, we have to be asking many of the same questions Randy Pausch asked himself. Unlike him, we have the luxury of accepting them as a challenge and not as the reality of a life cut short.  

Do you remember your childhood dreams?

Have you enabled the dreams of others?

What lessons have you learned?

Randy Pausch was not Jewish, but this is one of the most Jewish approaches to life that I have ever seen.  Our tradition teaches that it is precisely by empowering others that we ourselves will be empowered to achieve all of our dreams in life.

In his lecture and throughout his book, where he shares short stories about his life, we find time and time again a remarkable concept. WHEN YOU HIT A BRICK WALL, DON’T SEE IT AS DEFEAT, TURN IT INTO AN OPPORTUNITY!!!

His last lecture is a vivid example of that. A man who knows he is dying , who is facing the ultimate brick wall, chooses to share with his three children and with the world his philosophy of life. He turns a brick wall into an incredible testimony of life, accomplishment and hope.

Some years ago I HEARD A SONG BY TIM MCGRAW entitled, “Live like you were dying” which really caught my attention. I am sorry to disappoint you, I am not a country music fan but I love that song.

Allow me to share the lyrics with you:

 

He said: “I was in my early forties,

“With a lot of life before me,

“An’ a moment came that stopped me on a dime.

“I spent most of the next days,

“Looking at the x-rays,

“An’ talking ’bout the options an’ talkin’ ‘bout sweet time.”

I asked him when it sank in,

That this might really be the real end?

How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?

Man whatcha do?

An’ he said: “I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

“And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

“And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”

An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,

“To live like you were dyin’.”

He said “I was finally the husband,

“That most the time I wasn’t.

“An’ I became a friend a friend would like to have.

“And all of a sudden goin’ fishin’,

“Wasn’t such an imposition,

“And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.

“Well, I finally read the Good Book,

“And I took a good long hard look,

“At what I’d do if I could do it all again,

“And then:

“I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

“And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

“And I gave forgiveness I’d been denying.”

An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,

“To live like you were dyin’.”

Like tomorrow was a gift,

And you got eternity,

To think about what you’d do with it.

An’ what did you do with it?

An’ what can I do with it?

An’ what would I do with it?

“Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

“I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

“And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

“And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin’.”

An’ he said: “Some day, I hope you get the chance,

“To live like you were dyin’.”

“To live like you were dyin’.”

“To live like you were dyin’.”

“To live like you were dyin’.”

“To live like you were dyin’.” 

May we never face something like this.  May we never have to face the brick wall to ask ourselves if we still have time to live our childhood dreams or to empower others to live their dreams! May the lessons we learn today help us to live a better more meaningful lives before it is too late.

Mayer Anschel Rothschild, who lived in the mid 18th  and early 19th  centuries, was the founder of the Rothschild family banking empire that would become one of the most successful business families in history. Three years ago, Forbes Magazine’s list of the The 20 Most Influential Businessmen Of All Time ranked him as number seven. Forbes referred to him as a “founding father of international finance.” Legend has it that from time to time, the Emperor would send visitors to the luxurious Rothschild palace. It was the most lavish and well appointed palace in all of Austria and everyone wanted to see its beauty.

During one visit, Rothschild took his guest from room to room and the guest was awed by the display of wealth. He showed him room after room, but when he passed a certain door, he continued walking. “I am sorry,” said the banker. “This is the one room in the palace I cannot show you.”

The visitor reported back to Emperor Franz Joseph and told him about all he saw, and about the room he could not see. This peaked the Emperor’s curiosity. He asked the man why he suspected that room was off limits. “Perhaps that is where Rothschild has his magic money machine.”

The Emperor did not know whether to believe the man so he sent a second government official to visit the palace. The second agent came back with the same report, as did the third and the fourth.

Finally, the Emperor decided to visit the palace himself and when they reached the forbidden room, he demanded entry.

Rothschild took out his keys, opened the door, and invited the Emperor to enter. There, in the small room, was a simple pine box, and some plain white cloth on the table. That was all that was there.

“What is this all about?” asked the Emperor.

“We Jews have strict rules about burial,” explained Rothschild. When a person dies, he must be buried in a very simple coffin. His body must be clothed in a plain white shroud. This is to maintain the equality of all God’s creatures.”

“But why is this here in this room?” asked the Emperor, impressed but very confused.

“At the end of each day, I come to this room, and view the coffin and the shroud, and I am reminded that even though I have great wealth and power and I have important influence in the highest echelons of Austrian society, I am still one of God’s simple creatures, and that at the end of my life, this is the end I will come to like all of God’s children.

It all comes full circle! The lesson we learn from this story is that we MUST always live like we were dying, we should strive to live humble lives no matter who we are. Even if we were the most powerful, the most influential, the most learned; we always have to keep in mind that in the end we are all the same.

Yom Kippur is the ultimate rehearsal for death! We dress in white (like the shrouds), we restrain from food and drink, we recite Unetane Tokef! It is in a very abstract way our last lecture! Every year we get a chance to live again, love again and understand life a new.  Let us not waste the precious time that God has given us.

© Rabbi Felipe Goodman.  All rights reserved.

Share on Facebook

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 7:07 am and is filed under Torah, religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.